stressed music life

i never thought that studying music could be stressful too... well..maybe it's becuz i hurt my hand....
my recital date is coming near.. my hand still does not show any signs of improvement. maybe it did got better a little. ohhhh... pls Lord... cure my hand...

i hv sooo many songs to learn and yet i cant practice.. my recital piece..it's not easy..and i dun hv chance to practice... how ? how? how???? i dun want to play like shit in my first recital... how i wish i can just sing and not play.......

tomoro is my 2nd violin class... i love my violin teacher.. mr. Prody G. he's sooooo kind and caring and happy and funny.. he keeps joking and laughing... i hope to see a drastic obvious improvement in my violin skills at the end of this semester...
i dare not reveal to my violin teacher about my hurt nerves... scared he'll ask me not to play... i'm going to burst. really... i hate my body.. always full with problems.. uselesss me.. i hate myself.