music?? engineering??

everytime when i wanna give up music..sure sth will happen to stop me..or someone will stop me..i planned everything..next year..study engineering..then..today,.Dominic told me...after 4 years, i'll still come back to music. i know what he say might be true..now i'm stuck..i scat i'l be wasting my dad's money..study engineering, but end up teaching music or joining an orchestra..uhh..

i told myself..NOT TO MEDDLE AROUND WITH MUSIC!!!! no more...no more..i hv to pull myself away...i hv to cut the bonding and relationship between me and music. i hv to..but i cant..eversince i am firm bout studying engineering, my soul is like..dying..bits by bits...day after day..i can feel my body getting weaker and weaker..a weaker soul..a weaker body..inside me..there's sth pushing me to go for engineering...but my brain tells me..no..eli..u cant..u'll fail ur 1st year..my heart pushes me forward...my brain pushes me backwards..forward...backward..forward..backward...aaaargggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!! noting can help me..noone can help me..i'm too weak for music..too sick for engineering..i guess i'm jus a failure..

1. if i fail my 1st year.i'll waste my dad's money
2. if i finish my 4 years study..come out and teach music or join orchestra..i'm wasting even more of my dad's money
3. i dun even know where to go to next year..
4. i dun even know wat to study
5. i dun even know if i'm prepared for engineering...
6. i'm not a bookworm nor a nerd who can sit down and study non stop
7. can i seriously live without music?
8. i havent learnt my 'praeludium and allegro' by kreisler yet!

fung chern hwei...i once said to myself..i'll go into music world..and i'll show u..i can be as good as u..but..i dun tink this will happen...i can only sit back and dream...dream of me..in an orchestra...can that ever be true? can my dreams come true?? or will i be stuck in a lab..counting figures..phyiscs..maths..count till i get mad??

the last waltz

today...27th december 2007. i composed a waltz..to make my play perfect...i name it ' the last waltz '. i got the inspiration from ' La Dispute' from the movie Amelie Poulain ( french movie ). i name it the last waltz..cuz..it will be my last compostition of year 2007..or perhaps..the last composition in my lifetime....

my most artistic christmas present...

this..was given to me by a very good fren of mine..leong hao yen. he's a super atristic person!!!!!..



it is a real egg...he carved holes on it!!!! can u believe it?? the black egg was my birthday present..it's beautiful!!!! gosh...

my gingerbread man

my first gingerbread man!!!



first!!!!! hahhaa..well..i tink it's gingerbread woman...by dominic's daughter..sheila and shoba..they're soooooo cute

and a marshmallow too...such a cute marshmallow....

Me and David...

this is a pic of david..for those who know who he is...handsome ler...

looks at his height..gosh...makes me look so short,... :(

SASA in Hong Kong

the SASA in hong kong is really big! i was in Mong Kok and almost every street, u'll hv a SASA at the end.i call it the big SASA. malaysia hv a tiny SASA.




it's about the size of my house, including my garden and the porch ( for those who has seen my house be4).

they selll loads of things, including my beloved DKNY Be deilicious!! compare to our SASA, the perfumes are limited!!!gosh...

My Dear Chamber of music..

jus now..i was reading my blog in frenster..it was..year 2005..hahaa..so long ago..few years i've not been blogging..it was all about my chamber of music , COM..my titik peluh with the help of a few close frens..

Violinists of COM...

i miss them..i miss the days in skol..where i'll always be wishing for fridays to come and whenever it's a friday..i'll tore down to the classroom after the bell rang..and wait there patiently as my members , my violinists..my keyboardist..slowly fill the room..how i miss those days..whenever there are problems..i'll see mr.lim..lim thee ping..he'll solve all my probs..and dry my tears...ohhh..i wish there's a time machine..i want to go back..back to the time when i have my COM with me..when i teach my juniors violin in the hot and stuffy rooms..we always get irritated cuz the violins get out of tune easily under the heat..I MISS CHAMBER OF MUSIC!!!!!!! i miss our performances..the nervous looks on my juniors be4 performance..i still remember..be4 my last performance with them..mozart's little night music..we were practicing outside..behind the hall..practice non stop..we were all nervous..first time my juniors perform such difficult songs..i wonder how are they now...

carnivals are the best part..where we all get united..with the help of kok kit and his gang..wihtout them..we cant go far..hahah..really thank them..hmm..the first year of carnival..we did a ghost house..haaha..i tink i turned out to be a water house...all thx to Ong Yin..then, the next year..we did a cafe..gosh..we wasted so many bags of fruits..not normal bags..but those big black dustbin bags!!!! both of them are a success...

our storeroom..

our first performance...on our launching ceremony...ahh..the banner..we call it the great banner...tat performance although did not sound very perfect..but to me..it's the best among all the performances..the best..we were so new yet so united..but now...all is jus a history..a memory which will nvr slip away from my mind..

let's see...i enjoy our balloon outing the most!!!!! all juniors came to my house and fill balloons with water and we carry pails and pails of it to the park and started shooting !!! tat's fun..tat was during the first year of chamber..after the carnival..me and the first batch juniors are very close..we hv very strong bond..maybe we had loads of outings gua..they also used to come to my house and practice...the practice for mozart's little night music performance is the best..all came and stood at my porch..ppl who passed by stared at us...mini chamber music in my house..hhahaha..there's so much memories..so much..too much..one tat touched my heart the most is when we took pic together be4 my graduation day ...i tink i cried..cant remember...i handed my COM to cheah yau and 1990'z..i trust them..and i know they wont let me feel disappointed..but i duunnno wat they did to my COM d laa...long time since i went back to visit them..all cuz of this stupid SAM!!!

1990'z and my year 2007 team members..

ohh...chamber of music..i miss ur music..i miss the fun...the glory...the laughter..the frustration dealing with Pn. shiu!!!...we hv our uptimes and downtimes...life is a circle...so do COM...my chamber...my lovely chamber.................

eli among the daniels...

i noticed that..there are loads of daniels in my life..hmm..let's see.....

Daniel Lau..from dunno which S class..he's a brainy guy..good at maths and phyiscs..always snatch away my mr.john..hmph!!!! i always see him on my way to toilet!!!! and in library..and also when i seek mr. john for help!!!!!!! we got to know each other thru kee tat the orang utan...daniel taught me how to torture and bully kee tat. kesian kee tat for having frens like this man....he reminds me of a bear..very cute...a brainy bear...hahahhaha...i wish to meet his bro..he said lots of bad things and good things bout his bro..wonder how's his bro like...maybe more leng zai than him or maybe more pro at kau lui..so he jealous or wat la..ngek ngek ngek..

then..there's Daniel See!!!!!! also another brain...this daniel's worst!!!! LAGI CLEVER... nothing cant be solved by him..and he loves soft toys..esp hui wen's lion pencilcase..my spec maths marks are always half of his...he's very kind too..not those selfish brainy person...

then..Daniel Shue from Jason's church (abundant grace assembly) ...this daniel!!!!! hmph!!!! always bully ppl one..gosh...he's very skinny..not very tall also.. :P he's talkative but he is a very nice person la...nice to talk to...he made me feel comfortable when i went to his church for the first time...

last but not least!!!! my bro..daniel chua..hahha...he's my darling...ohh..i love him..nvr knew i could love my bro so much..i used to hate him when he was like..about..1 to 3 years old like tat...cuz he makes my life miserable...always kacau my things...now...without him..my life will be miserable....

hmm..are there any more daniels???? i'll continue to think and scan thru my frens list...see who i've left out....

love ?? perhaps...

love..wat's love?? yeah..my love for my cute lil bro...i wonder..how many guys out there are truely, sincerely loyal..gosh..i jus cant believe guys...they're..like lalang..so fickle minded..

love is so complicated...hmm..shud i believe?? shud i not?? ohhh..wish i hv a rose with me now..so i can pluck the petals and let it tell me wat to do..will i trust the wrong person?? God..tell me wat to do..guide me.....

Love...is a choice...

Depressed at the strengthless me..

today..i checked out utube..searching videos on one of the piece i'm practicing for auditions to University..Beethoven's piano sonata in C minor, Op.13, no.8( pathetique)..gosh,..i saw real geng ppl out there..scary man..i lagi scared when i think of deadlines!!!!!!!!! i'm so strenghtless..ppl who know me wil know..my limited strength..how to play Beethoven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!How????? gosh..which Uni will want me?? i'm so weak for Beethoven..my fingers are so small and tiny and strenthless..i practiced til i'm gonna break my baby finger..pathetique..yeah..great title..it suits me a lot..pathetique me..:( so mad at myself...stupid eli.. :( especially for movement 1. it's too madly strong for my fingers..pei wen..help me....:( i think i better go back to Chopin..i love Beethoven so much..but i dun hv the strength to play his songs...sorry, beethoven..i'm sorry..but..watever it is..u'll still always be in my heart.i'll love u greatly... i guess my teacher's right..i cna nvr win those japanese or koreans..gosh..are there lots of them in germany?? pls..dun..i'll be a sesame seed if there are loads of them in germany..
Paganini...possess me!! come on...possess me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls..i need ur soul in me...i'm so frus and mad and angry and depressed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate myself..

S6 BBQ Party

tat nite..friday nite..we had BBQ at alex condo.his condo is so nice..deisgned and decorated by his sis ler....geng man..is like the white curtains..i'm gonna buy a purple one for my room.cant tahan..too nice!!!!!!

by the time they set the fire..it's alreayd 8.30 pm!!!!! hahahahahaha..then..me, Qian and aladin went for leg spa at the pool.hahha..then we played with water..see who's water travelled the furthest!!! hahahahahaha..when we get back..food's ready..but we pai seh..went to burn our own marshmallows..hahaha...my marshmallows are the best!!! mine has chicken flavour, elizabeth flavour, margarine flavour, original flavour..see...so many flavours..i burn til my nose also turn red.like rudolph.

then..me, Qian and aladin went to play fire and ice!!!!!! i'm so cha...when it's my turn to be ice man, i cant even catch one of them!!! gosh..my stamina's soooo bad..cant even run faster than Qian.aiyo...must go back KB to find my wushu teacher d..i tink he'll kick me away..sia sui that wushu club only..hahahah..we even made a triangle and a star!!!!!! hahaha..after all the hard work..lying here and there, turning here and there, rolling here and there...at last!!!! we made it!!!

our triangle..

halfway thru our star..

ta da!!!! our star...

after that,play time!!!!!!!!!! we throw the guys..one by one...threw them into the pool.hahaha..ren shen's sooo lucky..jus one sec be4 he jumped into the pool( he was going to jump in himself..self service) the guard came to shoo us upstairs..maybe we're too noisy..how can it not be noisy when there's eli and janet?? hahahhaa...

then..we went up for ghost movie..apartment 1303.hahaha..be4 it even started, we went for mamak.then..almost all left after that.i tink..around 5 ppl stayed for the movie and cards ( dunno wat..dai di) . meng jin dropped me at my aunts condo.i dare not go up alone..so, meng jin and pei wen teman me up. guess wat!!!! my aunt stays at 13th floor. we freaked out.dare not go up..but i still hv to go!!!! so..i pulled them along with me..so scary, pei wen even suggested to use the stairs!!!!gosh..climb all the way up to 13th floor?? i'll fall asleep halfway ... hahaha..at first..i cant open the door.i lagi scared!!!!! hahahah..i tink i banged at the door more than opening the door. it's too scary..hahahha...thx, meng jin and pei wen..without u 2, i dun tink i can make it to my aunt's condo.